Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
