normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize