it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
