Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
