Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
