You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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