i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He better not be in your backpack
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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