theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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