Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
