seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
meet me or not, i'm out of control
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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