What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
