They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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