That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
