I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
