Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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