I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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