Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
