I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
