I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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