So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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