If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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