Got a toothbrush?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
