Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
