If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
