I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My balls are so social today.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
