***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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