why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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