I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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