I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
