She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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