she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Soap is not a condiment
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
