So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
