we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
