Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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