My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
