So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
