girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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