Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
