My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
