my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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