butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
from now on my penis is your penis
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
