at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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