ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Couch. On fire.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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