so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
