Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
