If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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