at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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