it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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