im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
