Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
