The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
