I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
