It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
