i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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