Already got asked if we're dating
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
