I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
