On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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