You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I forget how to act sober
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
